i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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