South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
