im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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