I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
