How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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