xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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