sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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