I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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