angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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