you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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