You smell like stripper and shame
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize