i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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