this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
