I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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