My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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