Say something about gay babies.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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