4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
