I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
