He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
where am i from again
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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