Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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