Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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