4 words: hood of his car
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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