I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
