living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
