I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
