member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
