i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
