fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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