she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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