grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My vagina is officially offended.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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