I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
