Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize