I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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