Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
