he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
