he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
