I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
