He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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