nut hugger
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
