Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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