Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
