im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize