I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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