No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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