i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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