I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
