No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
