A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
