This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize