I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
this hospital has no fireball
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
