You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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