just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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