all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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