where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this boner is exhausting
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
