summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
