It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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