The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize