omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize