I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dick very happy bro
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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