Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
