This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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