i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So squirting runs in the family.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
