So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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