I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
