Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Drunk is not a location!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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