I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Randomize
