Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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