Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
